What to Do When You Miss Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

(A gentle guide for long distance relationships)

There’s a very specific kind of quiet that happens at night.

You finish your day, put your phone down, and suddenly the person you want to talk to the most is not there. No random conversations, no “goodnight” hug, no small moments together. Just a screen… and a lot of thoughts.

Long distance relationships are not only about time zones or travel plans.
They are about the little routines you used to share — walking home together, watching something meaningless, or simply sitting next to each other doing nothing.

And strangely, the hardest moment is often not during the busy hours.
It’s right before sleep.

Because that’s when your mind slows down, and your feelings get louder.

If you’ve ever thought, “I miss them the most at night,” you are definitely not the only one.

Why long distance feels harder at night

During the day, life protects you.

Work, school, friends, notifications — they keep your brain occupied. You are answering messages, solving problems, moving from place to place. Your partner feels far away, but manageable.

Night is different.

At night your brain looks for comfort and familiarity. Normally, this is when couples talk about their day, share small stories, or simply exist in the same space. Even silence feels warm when someone you love is near.

In a long distance relationship, that physical reassurance disappears.

A video call helps.
A message helps.
But your body still understands something is missing.

You reach to the other side of the bed without thinking.
You check your phone one more time even after saying goodnight.
You wish you could just lean your head somewhere familiar.

This is not weakness or overthinking.

Psychologically, humans connect love with presence. Physical closeness lowers stress and gives emotional safety. When the person you care about is far away, your brain keeps searching for that comfort — especially when you are tired.

That’s why nights feel heavier.

The goal is not to “stop missing them.”
Missing someone you love is a healthy emotion.

The real goal is to create small ways to feel connected again, even across distance.

(In the next section, we’ll share simple things you can do when the feeling hits — especially on quiet nights.)

Simple things that actually help on quiet nights

You don’t have to wait until the next visit to feel close again.
Small routines can calm your mind more than you expect.

1. Keep a short goodnight ritual

It doesn’t have to be a long call every day.

Some couples send a voice note before sleep.
Some watch the same short video together.
Some simply send a “text of the day” — one message that you only send to each other at night.

The routine matters more than the activity.
Your brain starts to recognize: this is our moment.

2. Leave a physical reminder nearby

One of the hardest parts of long distance is that love becomes digital. Everything lives inside a screen.

Try keeping something physical near your bed — a hoodie, a letter, or a small object that reminds you of them.

Many people find that having something soft to hug at night helps their body relax and fall asleep easier.
When your arms have somewhere to rest, your mind stops searching so much.

3. Don’t scroll after saying goodnight

This sounds small, but it changes a lot.

After your partner says goodnight, your brain still expects connection.
If you immediately open social media, your mind keeps looking for emotional stimulation and you end up missing them more.

Instead, dim the lights and give yourself a few minutes to wind down.
Let the last interaction you had be with them — not your phone.

Long distance relationships are not maintained by grand gestures.
They are held together by repeated small comfort.

You don’t need to stop missing someone you love.
You just need gentle ways to feel close again… until the next time you meet.